Kairos Outside in New York City

The weekend of July 24-26, 2009 is a weekend that I’ll always remember. I was part of a team of 28 women and 4 men hosting 20 female Guests for a weekend called Kairos Outside NYC #1. It was an awesome weekend. It was a weekend prepared by God for 52 of His people. Blessed doesn’t adequately describe what we all experienced.

Kairos Outside is one of the prison ministries of Kairos Prison Ministry International, Inc. The ministries address the spiritual needs of incarcerated men, women, children and their families and those who work in the prison environment.

The three main ministries are Kairos Inside which ministers to incarcerated men and women, Kairos Outside which ministers to women whose lives have been impacted by incarceration and Kairos Torch Youth Ministry which ministers to youth age 24 and younger who live in juvenile detention or correctional facilities. The initial introduction for the invitees is to participate in a Christian weekend similar to one of the Cursillo movement. Kairos has received blessing and encouragement of 4th Day movements such as Cursillo, Via de Cristo, Walk to Emmaus and Tres Dias. However, Kairos Prison Ministry is a ministry rather than a movement. It’s a ministry of the church. Following the weekend, invitees are encouraged to participate in reunions or support groups.

Karios Outside is a Christian Ministry that strives to bring healing, reconciliation and forgiveness to women who are affected by the incarceration of their loved ones. Kairos Outside began several years ago by Jo Chapman. She had a vision of expanding the Kairos’ ministry. Guests, as they are called, are the women who attend the weekend. They have close relatives or friends either currently incarcerated, previously incarcerated or have been incarcerated themselves. They serve time on the outside while their loved ones serve time on the inside. They rarely, if ever, tell anyone about their situation. In many cases they don’t even tell their pastor. It’s a painful secret they keep to themselves. Many feel a sense of shame.

There are Kairos Outside communities all over the United States and in Australia, Latin America, Africa, and the United Kingdom. This past weekend, we held the first such weekend in New York City (KO-NYC #1). It was held at the Passionist Spiritual Center/Cardinal Spellman Retreat House in the Riverdale section of the Bronx, NY. It’s a beautiful center on the banks of the Hudson River. This ministry was sorely needed in New York City because 85 percent men and women in the prisons of New York State come from the five boroughs of New York City. There are Kairos Outside communities in Elmira, NY and Mid-Hudson Valley, NY. Both are upstate New York. Until now there was none in New York City where most of the families of New York State inmates live.

Bringing this ministry to New York City is Coralie Joseph’s idea. She is a veteran of Kairos Inside. Coralie, along with my wife and about 50 other women have been participating in Kairos Inside in Fairfield County, Connecticut, for the past nine years. After contacting Jo Chapman about brining Kairos Outside to New York City and vigorously recruiting a team (including me), lots of prayers, two female clergy, more prayers, fund raising, lots of prayers, locating a local retreat site, lots more prayers, team meetings, and going through the process of inviting guests, the first weekend went off without a hitch. It was God’s weekend. The weekend costs $16,000 to $20,000. In the beginning of 2009 we had not one nickel. By the weekend in July 2009 the Holy Spirit had spoken to many hearts and we had the money needed. Our God is an awesome God.

The twenty guests arrived at the retreat center a little afraid and not sure of what to expect. They come from all walks of life. What they received was two and a half days of being treated like daughters of the King. And that’s who they are, Daughters of the King. They heard a series of talks from team members, many of whom have also been affected by incarceration. They had an opportunity to discuss the talks they heard in small family groups. There was plenty of music and lots of prayer. The food was outstanding and there was entertainment by the men on the team. Although the Weekend is Christian in nature religious affiliation is not necessary to attend. It was wonderful to watch the change from skepticism on Friday night to total involvement by Sunday afternoon.

The women learned that they are not alone with their secret. They had the opportunity to form relationships with other women who lived near them. They may choose to form support groups and keep in touch after the weekend. It’s difficult to explain how effective this ministry is to these women. They had an opportunity to share with members of the community that supported them during the weekend and tell what this weekend meant to them. With each woman who shared there wasn’t a dry eye in the room.

I was one of four men on the ministry team. The others were Bill Cusano, Bruce Macleod and Robert Mandia. Our purpose was to serve at meal times, help with heavy lifting, decorating and providing entertainment. We told jokes at meal times, sang and did some clowning around as you see in the photo below. Then there was the main reason we were there. During each of the talks given by the women team members, our job was to pray during the talks. We were in another room near the community room where the talks were given. Each speaker was brought to our small chapel/prayer room before and after the talk. We prayed with the speakers before they gave their talks. We prayed while they were speaking in the community room to the guests. We prayed with the speakers after they gave their talks. The talks are not sermons or instructions. They are the speaker’s life journey. They are meant to convey to the listeners that they are not alone in the struggles of their own life’s journey. They are supported by prayer.

The guests had the security of knowing that what’s said on the weekend stays on the weekend. No one asks about their loved one who was incarcerated. The focus is on the guest. The message was, “You are loved by Jesus and by all of us unconditionally.”

This one article doesn’t begin to describe what a blessing Kairos Outside is to everyone who participates … guests … team members … day angels and community supporters. The photos are courtesy of team members Bill Cusano and Elizabeth Pritchard. Only team members are pictured.

We hope you will visit the Kairos Outside NYC website and decide how you will support this important ministry. Starting in 2010 we plan to sponsor two weekends a year. If your church is in New York City or Westchester NY, I’ll be glad to visit and discuss the ministry with your pastor and ministry leaders. <>